Media's Distortion of Reality

This is hardly the first article written on this subject, but it's certainly an important one. As a stay-at-home mom, I spend quite a bit of time using media. I nurse approximately 254 times a day, and there's really very little you can do while you have a baby attached you. I usually spend this time on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and playing games on my phone. The rest of the day is spent with an adorable 7 month old who doesn't talk back - so I usually turn Netflix on in the background.

Why does this matter? How could this be harmful? The media is the new age "keeping up with the Joneses". Media users (most notably those who use Instagram and Facebook) are obsessed with putting their best face forward and one-upping other media users. Most often, this image is not reflective of the actual reality of one's life. For example, few of us have someone following us around taking candid pictures while we laugh with our friends - all while looking like our makeup is airbrushed and wearing Anthropologie's most recent line. At least, that's not my reality at all. This constant competition to make one's life seem desirable can have undeniable harmful effects.

In my experience, one harmful effect is that I feel inadequate. I feel like all of my friends are having these wonderful adventures in Korea, New York, Hawaii, and other exciting places; all the while looking like a million bucks and like they have no care in the world. This feeling of inadequacy would be harmful either way, but I feel especially put out when I'm trying to negotiate with my son to play on his own for literally 2 minutes while I use the bathroom. In those moments, I regret to say I think "ugh, if only I was off in Hawaii having the time of my life". But here's the thing - no one posts average pictures. Would it be entertaining if one posted pictures of the day-to-day things? Brushing your teeth, driving to work when nothing interesting is happening, sitting at your desk working on homework, cooking a quick dinner of spaghetti and meatballs, etc. No, probably not. Beyond that, no one wants to post an unattractive picture of themselves for fear of being judged. Why would I post a picture of my muffin tops when my friend just posted one of her and her six-pack abs in Cancun?! Thanks but no thanks. And thus, reality is distorted because we begin to believe that we're the only ones living mundane lives. We're the only ones who don't look like we should be trainers at a gym. We're the only ones with struggles, trials, hardships, responsibilities, etc. We begin to feel like we'll never reach this unattainable level of perfection that's been presented to us - not one of our pictures will ever receive as many "likes" as the Jones' pictures.

Another harmful effect is what this so called "epiphany" can have on our lives. It's the woe-is-me effect. We start to pity ourselves and our seemingly vacant lives. This can create a deep-rooted belief that our lives are hard, and everything is working against us to keep us down. I know I've fallen prey to this line of thinking, especially in regards to my body image. I have always had self-confidence, and really very few issues with how I viewed my body. And then I housed a human being in my body that weighed 8.8 lbs., and my body has never been the same. There are days where I chant the mother mantra: I am woman!! I gave life, and I'm a goddess who should never doubt her power! WORSHIP ME!!! But, there are just as many days (if not more) where I look at the mirror and think "well, that's as good as it's gonna get... yikes". These moments can be destructive to the view of my life as well. I begin to think that maybe my role as a mother isn't important. What good do I do? I spend all day at home, and for what? By the end of the day I'm covered in spit out carrot puree, my hair has been chewed on all day, and my glasses are covered in tiny fingerprint smudges. What difference have I made? Now, I have answers for all of these questions, but that's a post for another day. My point is that media has a way of convincing you that you're not good enough, that if you could just post the perfect picture, all of your problems would dissolve. And that can be the most destructive thing of all - it can prevent any real progression from happening. Happiness isn't found in facades. Happiness is found in living your life.

Lastly, we can be so consumed with posting the best picture that we forget to be in the moment. We have a burning desire to pull out our phone and capture the moment that we aren't a part of it. Would you really lose that much by not documenting every significant event of your life? Some memories are best experienced when you're fully engaged and seeing them yourself, not through the lens of a camera.

Media can be a force for good, but more often than not, I find that its distortion of reality can impede one from truly living.